I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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