So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
