Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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