I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
