Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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