Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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