Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
