i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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