Fuck appropriateness.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Randomize
