rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
