why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
