I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
