Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.