Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.