you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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