It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
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