hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
