Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
