Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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