My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
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