is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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