he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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