What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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