remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I will be naked everywhere
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
