Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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