have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
