you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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