life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
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