i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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