His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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