FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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