marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize