Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
