Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
