she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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