I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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