did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
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It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
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I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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