Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
