'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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