i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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