why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
