Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Randomize