My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
someone owes me an orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize