You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
