I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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