She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Vodka?
Forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize