honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
