I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
