I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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