watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I'm at about main and main street
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
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