Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
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Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
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That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
we're so committed to being not committed
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize