it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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