I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
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