So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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