respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Go christen that room with your naked body.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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