so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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