Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Randomize
