Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
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