Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
