you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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