This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
