O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
