yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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